Can't Just Be A Kid

Written By: Anonymous at Street Light

I’m on social assistance.  I’m a mother of an amazing 6 year old boy. I’m a student. I’m trying my hardest to continue with my education and complete my High School diploma. But it’s difficult. The simple task of buying myself what I need for school is difficult. Not to mention that my son starts grade one in September. I want him to be prepared and have all that he needs. What mother doesn’t want that? But that means I go without. If it means choosing between his needs or mine, his needs all win. That’s what moms do for their children.  

This September we don’t have enough. Between rent, bills, clothes for him, and food there isn’t enough for anything extra. I am feeling very anxious. Once school starts, I have to be ready to say “no” to things such as - school trips, pizza lunches, or “indoor shoes.” This sometimes means my son cannot participate in everything his school has to offer him. Sometimes, I think about how he might sit out in gym class, because he won’t have shoes that are good enough, and it breaks my heart.  

Sometimes I don’t have enough food for us, and it’s hard for me to even think about going to the food bank, because I feel too embarrassed. I should be able to provide for my son, but by going into the food bank it is almost like I am admitting I can’t take care of him. I am left feeling as though I can’t do normal things - normal things moms are supposed to do for their kids – like figuring out a meal plan, grocery shopping and buying fresh fruit. 

It hurts. It hurts when I can’t provide for him. When I can’t buy him a birthday present. He may not realize it now but one day he will. That day will be tough. But I hope he realizes I’m doing the best that I can. That I’m trying.     

SL

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